Da Coconut Repablik

A Chronicle of the Da Pinoys and Da Coconut Repablik of Da Pilipins

Da Pinoy Chronicle: On The Aswang Chronicles

This is my first film review since the monstrosity slash abomination called Boy Pick Up The Movie  hit the theatres last June. I lambasted the film as “guys will only love this movie because of Solenn”.

I kinda admit that Solenn is beautiful. That film makes no sense and it only promotes lame ass jokes which Filipinos find funny while others find it stupid. It is like finding Hitler murdered 6 million Jews hilarious.

Seriously, i am somewhat irritated at how people reacted so positively about The Aswang ChroniclesThe film was so goddamn hyped and it is 4 days away before it will make its first premiere in theatres. It is also based on a comic book that no one almost talked or even read about.

Pinoy Pride is soaring high with numerous individuals proclaiming it as a showpiece of Pinoys. Well, the country is almost a catastrophic failure and the Filipinos are so happy that they want to kill themselves.

The trailer sums it up. A film that blends action, comedy and horror just in time for the Halloween season. It is also the first Filipino film to be shot entirely at green screen and it took 1 year before post production was finished.

It stars big names in the Pinoy Showbiz industry such as Dingdong Dantes, Rhian Ramos and other bullshit actors that i don’t like nor care. When i watched the trailer, it looks surprisingly similar to the Left 4 Dead franchise and 300.

My first impression in the film is that i hope it is much better than the Filipino cinema has to offer. For the past 10 years, it was composed of cheesy romantic films, tasteless slapstick comedy, terrible parodies, laughable action films and the biggest running joke slash fantasy film.

I also recommend you folks to watch The Road and Asiong Salonga, the only Filipino films that i found decent last year. I hope this film will bring to my expectations. The film’s overall quality will not largely depend on CGI and special effects, as seen with that cheesy action movie and the Michael fucking Bay film.

Remember this, CGI or even 3D will not make a film good or awesome, although The Avengers was an exception. Filled with intense action, great acting, dialogue, a solid cast, excellent cinematography, script, performance and overall badassery, considering also its badass soundtrack, it exceeded all expectations and it is one of my favourite films of 2012.

I have some considerable expectations for this film. I hope this film will be half decent or even surprisingly good when i will watch it next week. I will even bring my barkada to watch it. By the way, the film Skyfall is also on my list.

But all of us will have one conclusion, this film will be 400 times more better than that fucking saga which a girl only wants to fuck a vampire. We suffered through torturous hours of torment to figure out if the girl will succeed to fuck that guy. It is a sigh of relief that the fucking joke slash saga will end.

Next month i will come up with a review of it, hooray for torture. Until next time, see ya all. I will check out this film. Oh shit, will i get libel after this?


3 comments on “Da Pinoy Chronicle: On The Aswang Chronicles

  1. Conyo
    October 17, 2012

    Did you even watch the whole movie? Aswang Chronicles is a truly remarkable film. Personally, I think it should be nominated for an Oscar in the Best Foreign Film category. Your critique is so intellectually dishonest that I wonder what your true motives are.

    See you at Starbucks 🙂

    • dachronicler
      October 17, 2012

      Aswang Chronicles is very predictable. I find it average, neither good nor bad. As i said on my article, CGI and special effects will not make the film great. Look at Transformers. By the way, my true motives is on the About page: To Chronicle the Stupidity of the Filipinos and To Expose the defects of our society..

    • dachronicler
      October 17, 2012

      The CGI also by the way is very laughable and the film is full of hammy acting and a rehashed plot. But still, it is watchable than other crappy Telenovelas turned films. Foreign language film? Are you making me laugh? Try to watch Der Untergang or Downfall, you will not find CGI’s there. It has a strong plot, excellent actors and an overall appeal that almost won the Foreign Language film. By the way, the article is just a first impression, written 4 days ago. Can you read clearly?

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This entry was posted on October 14, 2012 by in Cosplay, Culture, Film, News, Review, Society, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , .
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