Da Coconut Repablik

A Chronicle of the Da Pinoys and Da Coconut Repablik of Da Pilipins

Da Pinoy Chronicle: On MMFF’s Habit Of Turning Shit Into Gold

So folks, after days of vacation, I am now returning to my hobby. The one that has catch my attention is the annual Metro Manila Film Festival. Seriously, why are they calling it a film festival? Oh the kicker, they are banning foreign films which are 25 times more good than most of the shit that this film fest has to offer.

The main reason why so many people watch the films of the festival even though it is of poor quality because it is star studded. I repeat the star power is the main factor. Filipinos are happy go lucky watchers, they can’t distinguish shit and gold, all thanks to our mainstream media.

The awards night does not even matter because the Filipino film industry is still on poor shape. Well you know the films that will be highlighted on this festival. A comedy slash fantasy film, a generic comedy film, a melodramatic film, a low budget horror film and an action film, although it is very rare.

Their plots are very predictable, combined with over the top acting, silly lines, cliched scenes, a stupid comedy relief, poor CGI and special effects, it will leave you empty handed. You might think you waste your money on this bullshit and demand a refund.

Well, the Best Pictures are the top grossing films most of the time with few exceptions like the recent awards. Well, thank you for ruining the already ruined film industry. Our film industry is more ruined than the Hollywood film industry.

So these folks don’t want competition because they will lose their money. The films Hobbit and Rise Of The Guardians are better than the films of the MMFF. They are just suspending competition just to shit bricks.

Currently, biopic films and historical films are also becoming popular. The film last year Manila King Pin: The Asiong Salonga Story is very tolerable and it deserved the awards last year. That’s what you call film.

It is a quite silly action movie that has lots of potential. They just needed to add a taste of ego, character development and a solid plot. If they did my suggestions, it might score 8 out of 10 for me. The soundtrack is also good and it was sung by Gloc 9, my only favourite rapper of Filipino origin and Ely Buendia.

The movie is epic in my conclusion. I shall make my review of the film El Presidente and it will come out this night or tomorrow.Anyway, we are diverting from the topic.

The film festival is also notorious for hilarious film titles such as Enteng ng Ina Mo, Si Agimat, Si Enteng At Ako, Sosy Problems and many more. It is just a mere publicity stunt. The producers had invented a marketing campaign that can turn shit into gold!

Do you know the crappy CGI film RPG Metanoia? Several people were hyped to see this damn film, they only got much more crap. Did I also mentioned that it was a flop like Battlefield Earth? It had only grossed 15 million out of its 100 million film budget.

Another epic failure is the Gundam and Transformers rip off titled Resiklo. It suffered from crappy acting, over the top performances, silly lines, cliches and other flaws that made the film a rotten mess. The biggest joke was it won the 2007 MMFF.

The only film that I found worth to watch is El Presidente. The others are very predictable but still I cannot imagine why Filipinos can still live in crap. It looks like the directors and producers are running out of ideas or under pressure from big networks.

Indie films are quite more decent than the films shown by the mainstream media every year. The Filipino film industry is an almost hopeless cause, with little hope it can improve except from indie film makers and producers.

The current generation of Filipinos are attracted to over consumerism that leads to anti intellectualism, we cannot see much change. The mainstream media is influencing the very fabric of our society itself.

Sensationalism is driving the masses insane. It is no surprise why our society can’t achieve progress because of our mindset as a people now. Our current culture resists change and progress. It even resist rationality in favour of emotions and sensationalism. This is a mobocracy.

I am not surprised if the next title of the Enteng Kabisote film will be like this:

Sina El Presidente, Si Agimat, Si Asiong, Sisterakas, at si Enteng ng Ina ni Praybeyt Benjamin, nagsye-Shake, Rattle and Roll 15

Until then, I might kill myself or emigrate. I advice you people, stop eating shit and being proud and loved it. Borat is much much much better than all Filipino films combined lately. In fact, Filipinos don’t subscribe to Sacha Baron Cohen’s humour.

In conclusion, the films of MMFF are worthy to become a method of execution and psychological torture for political prisoners. They are as stupid as Judge Dredd. Most MMFF films are downright terrible on my standards. The Room is not as terrible as these train wrecks.

Until then, I see you guys on the next article. These films deserved mention if Mystery Science Theatre 3000 is still on air. They are reviewing films as shitty as this one below. Happy Holidays!


One comment on “Da Pinoy Chronicle: On MMFF’s Habit Of Turning Shit Into Gold

  1. Anon
    December 27, 2012

    What’s you opinion about Thy Womb btw?

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