Da Coconut Repablik

A Chronicle of the Da Pinoys and Da Coconut Repablik of Da Pilipins

Da Pinoy Chronicle: The Top 12 Embarrassing and Epic Failure Moments For the Whole Year

Let’s end this year with our top 12 embarrassing and epic failure moments this 2012. I don’t care if you are offended by this article, this is just a list. Let’s not waste any time, let’s start the countdown.

12. The Barreto- Tulfo brawl

It all started when journalist Ben Tulfo had recorded a video involving Claudine Barreto berating an employer of an airline. Upon seeing this, Raymart suddenly punched Ben Tulfo and it erupted into a brawl.

The Tulfo brothers had aired the video on national television as an act of revenge. Both sides had filed cases against each other and as of December, no clear result or settlement yet. You know folks, this is an example of how stupidity is plaguing the Philippine showbiz industry and how irrationality results to stupid actions, which was comparable to gorillas fighting each otherf for glory.

11. The Amalayer Girl

This an an another act of stupidity by a girl that berated a security guard last October. I am not taking any sides, but all three individuals were responsible, but the people were the ones more responsible for destroying the image of the girl.

The mob mentality of the Filipinos seem to be active this year. The collective stupidity of this society is unrivalled. Thanks Amalayer girl for highlighting the stupidity of this society again. Looks like the Spanish Inquisition will be proud at the mob rule of the Filipinos to burn a heretic. As they say, nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

10. The Metro Manila Film Festival

Seriously, why was it even called a festival? Oh yes, the MMFF happens every year to showcase the local cinema’s product, which are mostly composed of shit. It looks like the script and the titles were written by 7 year olds. Don’t believe me? Watch a blockbuster hit.

Sisterakas is the most popular film of the bunch, a piece of shit comedy film that has no redeeming values except for slapstick jokes and rehashed humour. The Enteng Kabisote franchise must have died a long time ago, it is just pure rehash with the same antagonists over and over again.

The producers are thinking that this film can get a quick buck. This is now the spirit of film making here, turning various pieces of shit into gold. As said by Ilda, the films represent our culture today.

I am slightly disappointed about El Presidente but I am more disappointed by decisions to pull out Thy Womb from theatres. Remember film makers, a box office hit is not guaranteed that the film is good or not. They are puling out foreign films such as Hobbit and Rise of the Guardians, which are 50 times more better than most Filipino films.

I suggest that local films compete with foreign films. Please, don’t make the MMFF an excuse for quick buck. Your film sucks Sisterakas, it deserves to be burned, scrapped, shredded, fired from a missile and being turned into ashes.

9. The sudden deaths of the pillars of the dying industry

These 4 individuals died in the same year, they were considered as the pillars of the Filipino film industry. I am not familiar with the other two, but I am familiar with Dolphy and Abaya.

Abaya was the director who directed the epic film Jose Rizal which starred Cesar Montano. She continued to direct decent films and she was even a professor of film making. She died because of cancer, which she had left a dying film industry.

Dolphy was known as the greatest Filipino comedian because of his films.  He was an actor for half a century and had starred in numerous films. He died on July 10, and he left a dying comedy industry. Early Dolphy films contained political satire, which is the highest form of humour. Unfortunately, Filipinos can’t even understand satire, most of them are now infected by childish humour.

As they had left the Philippines, the fate of the dying film industry, especially the mainstream ones is now very solid. It is my pleasure to present you Kandidatong Pulpol, a great example of the lost Filipino comedy and it is an example of how politics is played into this democracy.

8. The death of Sec. Jesse Robredo

This man is a competent politician. This man had transformed Naga into an urbanised city. He is the the leader that the Philippines needed. He can fix the country if he was given a chance to be elected.

Unfortunately, he remained on the shadows of the populist president. He is the few people who can govern the Philippines competently. whether his death was really an accident or a political conspiracy, we had still a competent statesman.

7.The epic defeat of Pacman

This is a bomb! I am glad that Pacman was defeated in his last fight. He must had heeded the advice of even the best of his adversaries to retire from boxing. He did not listen and this is the result.

I am very optimistic that Pinoy Pride will die after this. The pill of reality was very hard to swallow. But after a week, the Pinoys became proud again. Folks, you don’t need Pacman to be proud and don’t be a bandwagon to his success. Stop that Pinoy Pride bullshit already.

6. Piolo is gay

I hate this news, in fact it was not even considered news. KC Concepcion had broke up with Piolo under unspecified reasons. Most people are now thinking that Piolo is really a homosexual.

So what if he was a homosexual. Did it really affected the country? No, so please girls stop your whining about it. Move one bitches. Man, showbiz news is really fucked up.

5. It’s more fun in the Philippines!

For the love of Russell’s teapot, why did this slogan became official? This is an apparent contradiction to the realities of our country. The ironies are obvious. More fun? Come on.

Seriously, Malaysia and Singapore are worth places for tourists. Our culture is very backward and our insistence to progress are hindrances for our society to move forward. The apparent happy go lucky attitude of the Filipinos are really facades of the gloomy reality that we have.

4. Jessica Sanchez lost AI

I do not understand, why there were so many Filipinos whining about this? Jessica Sanchez is a great singer yes, but I still prefer Phillip Phillip’s musical prowess than Jessica. Both stars have a very promising future to begin with.

Some emo Flips had proclaimed Jessica as a world idol. So what? Why are we so proud of the achievements of others? Our false sense of pride have turned our society into a society which constantly deludes itself. We are only cheating ourselves. Pinoy Pride needs to die, it is a cancer that infects every citizen in this country.

3. The impeachment of Renato Corona

This is a good example of trial by publicity by the mainstream media. For months, the trial of CJ Corona was the main topic of several news organisations. You will expect monkeys right? Ah yes, the prostitution panel were composed of monkeys with no competence, but still they won.

Cj Corona was impeached with baseless accusations or hearsays. The people had celebrated his downfall. But now, where is change? The government is disposing of its enemies from office with the widespread approval of the masses, who were easily manipulated by speeches of virtue and anti -corruption.

Man, Homer’s government is so incompetent and they always want a scapegoat to mask the real problems of the country facing today. 188 idiots had also signed the impeachment of Corona. I am doubting that even half them them had actually read what they are signing.

2. The desperate crusade of the CBCP against the RH Law

The CBCP and its primitive crusade against this law was a failure. Against all odds, the Rh Bill was passed. The Church was so desperate and they are cursing politicians who supported the bill by not supporting them in the next elections.

I support the law, but the budget for it is so large that the government will be forced to adopt austerity measures. But still, 1 point for Homer. He head defeated the CBCP and its followers are currently living in their fallout shelters because the Illuminati’s agenda is now completed. Run for your lives!

And the number 1 is

1. Sinotto and the Cyber Crime Law

Let me guess, some of you are expecting that Sotto will come out at number 3 or 2, but still this is the news that outshine the others.  Tito Sotto’s plagiarism issue was so severe that several people from the social media had mocked him.

In fact they are still mocking him. His inaccuracies about his speeches had raised eyebrows and his plagiarised quotes from other people which he Tagalised. He became a meme in the Internet which deals mostly with his plagiarism issues.

He was so butthurt about his ruined reputation that he might have influenced the Cyber Crime Law. There is a saying “sing tibay ng bato sing tatag ng isang blokeng semento and muka ni Tito Sotto”.

The Cyber Crime Law is also a big epic failure for this year 2012. The libel clause is so controversial because it will enable the government to censor and arrest persons who are posting against the state. I am in support of some of its clauses, but it needs amendment.

I am even doubting if Homer will consider some suggestions to modify it because he was also a victim of an Internet meme called Noynoying. It is less than a moth before the TRO expires, so prepare for the worst.

And this is my article. Happy New Year folks! We can just sum up this list by listening to Gangnam style.

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2 comments on “Da Pinoy Chronicle: The Top 12 Embarrassing and Epic Failure Moments For the Whole Year

  1. xdarkx
    January 3, 2013

    To be honest, I oppose the RH Bill but not because of the same irrational religious reasons. It’s simply because it’s just a waste of taxpayers’ money. I have nothing against contraceptives, alright. But I just don’t like it that the government is forcing them into the people. Why not improve economic conditions instead so that the people themselves will be able to buy these instead of having other people pay it for them (if you get what I mean)?

    • dachronicler
      January 3, 2013

      I have some reservations but I support the RH Bill. I agree that we must improve our economic condition, by free trade, the elimination of tariffs and 100% foreign ownership so the MNC’s will have the guts to invest here.

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