Da Coconut Repablik

A Chronicle of the Da Pinoys and Da Coconut Repablik of Da Pilipins

Da Pinoy Chronicle: A Clash of Two Assholes: Enrile Vs Cayetano

Hey folks, it’s 3 months before the elections! In our wonderful countdown to Idiocracy 2013, I shall bring this piece of shit for you. I am a fan of Philippine political debates. Why?

Because you can bring a popcorn with your Mountain Dew in front of the TV screen and laugh hilariously at the same fucking time. It’s more fun in the Philippines indeed. This is only a short article so I will use GMA Netowrk to explain most of it:

The rift between Senate President Juan Ponce Enrile and Senate Minority Leader Alan Peter Cayetano became personal Wednesday on the Senate floor, with Cayetano lamenting Enrile’s treatment of the minority and even rebuking Enrile’s chief of staff.

In response, Enrile bared a multi-million peso debt allegedly incurred by Cayetano’s late father many years ago.

In a privilege speech, Cayetano said Enrile and his chief of staff lawyer Gigi Reyes have been giving him unfair treatment. He said this was probably because the two are close to former President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo, of whom he was a critic.

Cayetano also said Reyes was a close friend of their political rivals in Taguig, where his wife, Maria Laarni, is the incumbent mayor.

Cayetano said he won’t go into the details of Enrile and Reyes’ personal relationship.

He, however, challenged Enrile to show how the Senate has been liquidating its funds, which he said doubled during Enrile’s term.

“I challenge you allow private auditing firms to look into the finances of the Senate,” he said.

In response, Enrile stood up and began and bared a P37 million debt allegedly incurred by Cayetano’s father, the late Senator Renato Cayetano.

Cayetano, however, said he was not aware of any debt of his father and that Enrile was deviating from the topic.

The two then got into a heated argument until Sen. Franklin Drilon moved to suspend session.

Session was still suspended as of posting time.

Ladies and gentlemen, so this is the quality of our politicians now? Enrile is a competent ass, while the latter is a complete asshole. It is like a clash of two baboons in a Congress. What we can expect from our politicians really considering that morons electing their own kind?

Cayetano even mentioned GMA for a 3rd fucking million time. Man, this asshole still considered GMA as the President. No doubt why GRP had concluded that the 2013 elections will become a spectacle of stupid people over and over again. Cayetano’s advertisements are so annoying and so fucking funny to laugh at.

Why does he keep on blaming GMA for everything? Fuck him, does he have the balls to run the country? The GMA rage is just an another fad anyway, in fact people are trained to hate her. I don’t hate or like GMA, but one thing for sure: This woman has more balls than BS Aquino.

As said by benigno:

Again, election fever is in the air. Intrigue sloshes across the chattering classes who exchange factoids on the latest politically-motivated circus — the Gwen Garcia spectacle in Cebu, the Miriam vs Johnny imbroglio in the Senate, and the Aga Muhlach vs the whole system impasse in Bicol among others.

What is the common denominator amongst these partisan dramas? Not much other than people of consequence and involved in events of little consequence.

Former United States First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt was said to have said:

Small minds discuss people
Mediocre minds discuss events
Great minds discuss ideas

Where are the ideas that underpin the the competing forces in this year’s 2013 elections?

Who knows?

Resist stupidity and idiotic thinking too!

Resist stupidity and idiotic thinking too!

Certainly there is a lot of hollow-headed talk about the battle for domination between the most powerful parties at play this year — the Liberal Party (LP) of President Benigno Simeon “BS” Aquino III and the opposition “United Nationalist Alliance” (UNA) of Vice President Jejomar Binay.

Run the above fact through the So What? Test and you will get a categorical fail.

Liberal Party: So What?

UNA: So What?

Everything about the 2013 elections fails the So What? Test at all levels because there are no ideas at stake.

So the UNA is the “opposition” party this year. What exactly is it “opposing”? A first-grader’s guess will be just as good as a rocket scientist’s educated stab at the answer. There are no philosophies at stake in Philippine elections. Only businesses to protect, dynasties to maintain, and pork barrel funds to salivate over. Other than that, Philippine politics is a vast intellectual wasteland.

Look no further than political campaigns and compare the rhetoric now with rhetoric of years past, specifically 2007 when I wrote about the moronism behind the so-called “Black and White Movement”

True enough, despite pages and pages of blurb on the need for “reform” all over the Black & White Movement website, it all came down to this statement by “helga” (one of the B&WM owners) in a comment in their blog:

[…]it would be a no brainer list, really. Everyone from Team Arroyo would be on the Black List. No fun in that.

This was referring to how the Movement presumes to classify Philippine politicians into Black (no-vote) and White (yes-vote!) as a “guide” to the electorate in their efforts to “elect into Congress men and women of moral courage…”. To which they add “…who will exact accountability from the GMA regime for the unabated corruption and extrajudicial killings”.

Filipinos for their part eat this all up, conveniently forgetting for the sake of hollow-headed partisanism that corruption and “extra-judicial killings” have always been a fact of life in the Philippines. The fact that they crested significantly during the Arroyo administration is beside the point. The shallow way by which Filipinos continue this never-ending cycle of beholdenness to the mind tricks of “united” oppositions — the images and fantasy worlds they paint of a corruption-free Philippines where truth, justice, and accountability prevail once they are elected into office.

Sound familiar? Of course it does.

That’s because corruption and rub-outs are systemic issues that can only be solved by systemic approaches that transcend any one administration or political fad. Yet the way that Filipinos regard elections involves vision (if you could call it that) that goes no further than the next election, the latest slogan, and the latest dance craze.

Even back then, the bottom line of Philippine elections and the spectacle of political campaign surrounding it was crystal clear to me:

Just like mass marketing, propaganda, and the ramblings of evangelists, campaigns are nothing more than quaint mind tricks. However, even Obi Wan Kenobi and Darth Vader themselves admit grudgingly that their Jedi mind tricks work only on weak-minded fools (like the drone-like stormtroopers and Jabba du Hutt’s pig-like henchmen). A “free” society populated by, in Nasty‘s words, starstruck ignoramuses indeed is a mind trickster’s paradise. The trouble is, lazy brains are quick to delegate their thinking to the most popular belief systems and their slogans. The unfortunately lame duck (or is she?) President Arroyo is the the strawman of choice at the moment and “Patalsikin Na, Now Na” is the slogan of the day.

What is difference between the 2013 elections and the 2007 elections? Just people and events. But the ideas (or the lack of these) is pretty much the same.

As Raquel Welch was said to have said:

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and then expecting different results.

But the Philippines is not insane. Insanity is a heaven only the truly enlightened can enjoy. No. The Philippines is just plain stupid. The good news for Filipinos is that any moron can enjoy stupidity.

In the Philippines,
even a cat can run for office

Quite hilarious. This pretty sums up the debate recently. A debate of morons and idiots.  A bunch of monkeys will be elected again. Until then, I see you guys on the next DPC.

I am leaving with a fucking good song again and the fucking ad of Cayetano for you to laugh at. Adios! Just remember, grab your popcorn in every debate.


One comment on “Da Pinoy Chronicle: A Clash of Two Assholes: Enrile Vs Cayetano

  1. xdarkx
    January 25, 2013

    I say let these crooks/crocs kill each other! Good riddance by then! >:)

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